Flamingos, Pampas and Pineapples…What does it all mean?

‘Lifestyle’ vs ‘Vanilla’

It’s very possible at some point that you’ve been enjoying a simple ‘Vanilla’ (anything not-swinger related) dinner party with friends, or been casually trying to finish off a project in the office, when clandestine whispers or secret giggles have begun about “our neighbours who have just installed a pineapple door knocker”/ “the old school friend I met up with who has an inordinate number of flamingo ornaments in her home”/ “Dave from accounts who planted some pampas in his front garden last Summer”….”you know what that MEANS don’t you?!”

Well, there’s truth in that these three seemingly ‘innocent’ objects have some links with swinging, a.k.a ‘the lifestyle’ (a form of Ethical Non-Monogamy)- but prepare for me to be flippant when describing them briefly.

Historically, planting or displaying pampas grass outside of your home was thought to be a sign that the residents within were open to sharing their bedroom with others, or ‘swapping’ wives as it was then sometimes known (less accepted now since it implies negative connotations with simply passing your wife over, and is reductive at best).

Pink flamingos are a more recent potential signal to others of somebody’s swinging interests, e.g. this supposedly occurs when a naughty cruise-ship holiday-maker may place one on their cabin door to subtly inform others of their ‘interests’. However, the link between flamingos and swinging is tenuous at best, and if you’re not careful, you could end up bravely approaching a completely oblivious couple who simple enjoy kitsch throwback ornaments. Be warned!

Now, pineapples…as with everything, nothing in life should be assumed and most often, people may just be enjoying a chilled Pina Colada in the Balearics, wearing matching pineapple flip flops and a Hawaiian l’ananas shirt. Despite this, my experience with swinging in the UK tells me that the pineapple symbol is perhaps the most popular of all (especially when it is tipped upside down!) and lots of fun is had with symbols of this delicious fruit, so you never know!

Importantly, it’s wise to remember that these are all particularly stereotypical symbols for the swinging community, and stereotypes should be approached with care, alongside an understanding of the truth. Maintaining respect for the community dictates that whilst it’s great to have fun when playing a little game of ‘guess the swinger’ with your partner at the poolside, those who practice ENM make up a rich, open and accepting community, and I believe there is a lot to learn from understanding this slice of diversity, and the unique experiences of the people within it.

And with this in mind, the concept of ‘Beyond the Pineapple’ is born.